he story of the origins of Polkacide begins in the swirling Mists of Time. On a foggy, blustery day, whilst tramping through the far reaches of the windswept western end of Golden Gate Park, contemplating Kierkegaard, Kant and Wells (and I don't mean Orson, baby!), the Right Reverend Ward Abronski beheld a heavenly sight. Through the tangled sticks and branches, shimmering off the curtain of leaves he felt, more than saw, a Glorious Golden Light. Drawn like a Moth to a Flame he pushed deeper into the intertwining underbrush and heard the Mellifluous Sound of a bubbling spring. An aroma of Barley, Hops and Fresh Water permeated the air with the Promise of Festivity. Forcing his way farther into the murky copse the sound of birds singing in 2/4 time melded with happy voices and laughter. Stepping out into the incandescant clearing, bathed in a glowing light even more life-giving than the sun, Ward beheld the source of All the Goodness and Joy. In the center of this Enchanted Dale stood a Golden Stump, a Wellspring emanating Joy and Well-being. From its base flowed a freshet of Pure, Delicious, Glorious Beer. The Golden Stump itself shone with an Inner Light that radiated to warm and enfold all it touched. Nestled in the gnarled roots of the Stump, the Lion lay with the Lamb, a Cat was peacefully grooming a Sparrow, a Man in a KKK Hood shared a Crystal Beer Stein with an African-American Stevedore and an Elderly Scandinavian Librarian as they all gazed deeply into each others eyes, laughing and smiling. Ward threw off his clothes and ran to join the Golden Ring of Dancers of every race, creed, color, gender preference, and political affiliation. The Happiest Sound in the World, Polka Music filled the Golden Air.
What seemed like days later, as he made his weary way back to his cold water third floor flat, Reverend Abronski realized he had been given a special vision of the world as it could be. He knew he had to bring the Warm Glow of the Golden Stump to the downtrodden, sad, lonely people he saw everyday on his way to his job sweeping up at the mausoleum. So, much like another misunderstood seeker of days gone by, he began to gather the people he would need to help him in his glorious mission of Happiness. The exploits and antics of the Old Ones have now become part of the web and warp of the fabric of popular culture. Reverend Ward, Neil Basa, JX 'Love' Jones, Johnny Jack, Alistair Shanks.....they still walk among us and their greatness is palpable. But still the children sing in nursery rhymes, long ago divorced from their true origins, of Bruno DeSmartass, Hayok the Thunderer, Big Lou, the Trickster Dudzo Wartniac, Josh B'Gosh, the Glory of the Polka Sluts in full multi-petticoated Splendor...
let us sing their praises Long and Loud!
date last revised: February 13, 2010