Really, haven't you heard? Polkacide has retired and is not available to perform for events of any kind, from the raucous and wild to the absurd or sublime. We no longer play festivals, dance halls, brewpubs, clubs, private parties...wherever hardcore polkas and big fun are wanted. It makes Polkamama very, very sad, I can tell you.
Legendary hardcore polka band, Polkacide, was found dead in their San Francisco home this morning; they were 32 years old. A longtime friend of the band, Slutty McSlutterson, commented, “they went out the way they came in, face down in a pool of vomit and beer. “I know they were only 32,” she said, sobbing, “but that’s like, 150 in polka years.”
Polkacide exploded on the San Francisco music scene in 1985 with a show at fabled punk rock palace, the Mabuhay Gardens where audience members created the very first “polka pit.” From this humble beginning, Polkacide’s meteoric rise led to the usual struggles brought on by too much success, too soon.
The band’s well-publicized struggles with fermented beverages as well as clarinetist Neil Basa’s ill-fated attempt at a solo career led to the formation of the Neil Basa Experience, an attempt to branch out musically that he labeled “Prog Polka.” “Those guys just don’t understand me,” he said at the time, “all they know is 1, 2, 1, 2. I want to experiment with polkas in 5/7 time.”
Basa’s hubris led to one poorly received album and a failed attempt at metal/polka fusion with Metal Polka band “SteelBasa.” Investments in his restaurant House of Gruel, led to financial problems.
Other members also attempted solo careers with varying degrees of success with such bands as: Turd Magnet, Euphonious Dingle Berry, Mango Goatstream, Muffinstabber, Polka Pudding, Monstrous Whangaroo, and Geezer. None of them rivaled the sheer power and fun of Polkacide and the members had to admit that there was a special thing that held them together. Some said it was spite, some mentioned beer, but one wise little boy piped up and said, “I think it was love.”
Polkacide is survived by a motely collection of fools who will never live up to the glory that was Polkacide… or will they?