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Ward Abronski: Titular Head of Band, Saxes, Zils, Whistles, Vocals and Harangues!
Ward was born in New Jersey. He spent most of his adolescence in Ibadan, Nigeria where he studied Yoruba drumming and playing in Rock and High-Life bands. He is a Berklee School of Music dropout.
Because of his stylistic adeptness and versatility, Mr. Abronski has had the opportunity to contribute his unique artistry to numerous musical productions and ensembles.
Ward thinks Rhassan Roland Kirk may have been God.
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Neil, aka Sikzpak Fashur, began clarinet at the age of six because it smelled good. He first studied with the great Polish maestro, Mr. Janowski, in Chicago, who at the outset was impressed with the intrinsic aptitude for the instrument demonstrated by his new pupil and was especially pleased to find that his protege came equipped with a formidably strong and remarkably well developed "natural" embouchure, rare in one so young. In fact, Maestro Janowski, was so impressed by Neil's embouchure that he was heard to remark after their first meeting "I can't believe the mouth on that kid. Freakin' amazing!" 
Maestro Janowski's brother, Mr. Janowski, who only a short time later became Neil's school band conductor at good ol' BM (Bryn Mawr) Elementary, was also deeply moved by the young boy's talent. Concurring with his brother's (Maestro Janowski's) opinion he stated on more than one occasion,"I get more lip from that kid than all the other students combined!" After only 7 months of lessons and at 6 years old, Neil won the1961 Illinois Statewide Music Championship as clarinet soloist. Shortly afterwards his family moved to California.
The next several years of his life are shrouded in mystery though it is known that in 1984 he wed the lovely Sharon Kopecki, a crowned polka queen and ocarina collector from Modesto, CA.
Adamantly eschewing the symphonic tradition, ("They don't even let you drink beer during rehearsal let alone the performance!") Mr.Basa has played with numerous cutting edge bands in the Bay Area. He is purported to have the power to cloud men's minds as well as his own and has had a lifelong dream to go schnorkelling in the Pilsner Urquell Brewery. His involvement with Polkacide could stem from his fascination with self organizing units of delusional and compulsive personalities or from a deep seated need to be near polka musicians.
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Sax player J.X. Jones was born Jarowzysk Jloszczowa in Szczebrzeszyn, Poland, and immigrated to San Francisco in 1985 at the behest of his distant cousin, Ward Abronski to help found Polkacide. Between polka gigs, J.X. works as a mixer at the Paczkowiecz Sausage Co. in a nearby industrial suburb.
A multi-instrumentalist, he is also a student of Madame Rosa von Blucher, the world famous harpist with the Fresno Symphony. J.X.'s major musical influences are Myron Floren, A.Grill, and Kenny G.
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An original Polkacider, Johnny dropped his last name and switched from trumpet to drums after extensive legal battles with his father, trumpeter Dudzo Wartniak (He doesn't like to talk about it much). Johnny has forgotten everything taught to him by the great polka drummer Tony Williams, actually his long term memory is pretty much gone and short term is on the way. Johnny wonders why he keeps hearing an accordion (we haven't told him that there is one in the band). He sites his major influences as: Alcohol, the Tick, and JX (The Smooth One) Lovejones.
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Alistair Shanks, aka reverend Elvister, aka Lance Boyle, aka Murder'r Bob traces his ancestry back to the "black polka Scots" of the 12th century. He is an unpleasant little bastard who tempers his unfettered disgust for humanity and universal misanthropy by collecting pre-civil war quilts and Margaret Keane paintings. He also likes to kick small children for sport. He never learned to play his instrument properly and resolutely refuses to do so now saying, "What for/ I'm just going to die anyway." Despite his desperate, almost messianic pessimism, he finds playing polkas soothing and claims it makes him "sort of happy". He has been in jail several times, most recently for attempting to play bass in Detroit with S.F. nerd rock sensations, Three Day Stubble. The ensuing legal problems forced that band to spend five days in Hamtramck where he said he felt quite at home "if it wasn't for all the pollacks." He has been kicked out of most of San Francisco clubs and claims he went to hell once but got kicked out of there, too. "I didn't really like it anyway." he said, "They were all a bunch of wimps."
He is roundly despised by each and everyone of his bandmates who tolerate him because he's the only one with a van.
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 Roamin' Polkalanski: Trombone
A longtime member of Polkacide, Roamin' used to be the youngest and the shortest until Ed Ivey joined the band. When Ed was forced to flee the band through a series of extramarital shenanigans, Larry decided it was safest to end his own roamin' ways and converted to an eclectic worship of late night ambulance chasing.
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Born of questionable ancestry but with a distinct musical proclivity and subsequently raised a roman catholic, composer and accordionist, Maggie considers herself lucky to be alive. She survived her childhood years by listening to jazz LPs on a large Blaupunkt Hi-Fi during the day and classical music on a small AM radio at night thus inadvertently and irreparably altering the patterns of her alpha & theta brain waves. In a nutshell, her thought processes, speech center and autonomic nervous system are inseparable from the cosmic flow of universal chaos with its implied melodic and rhythmic organisation. Though often misdiagnosed as a dementia, this condition is, in truth, only a mild adjustment disorder easily treated with chocolate. It in no way impairs her ability to play polkas on a regular basis. Indeed, it may be why she can play them at all.
At age14 she formed an all girl rock band, the first of many performing ensembles that would shape her illustrious but obscure career. She has written music for stage and screen, as well as, for assorted instruments. How she came to join Polkacide in 1994 was a twist of fate from which she has not fully unwound.
An accordion rights activist, as well as, a capella enthusiast Maggie still finds time to be inspired by many other musical styles including gagaku, spoon playing, zampogna music, Ken Nordine & Elmer Bernstein. Her latest project is the Mad Maggies, a world inspired, retro tinged, accordion-laced, horn-filled, guitar-rich dance band.
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John 'Johnny N.' Nieuwguyski was born in La Junta, Colorado in 1964 (making him one of the rare and collectible 6os issue Polkacide life size action figures.) La Junta is halfway between Possumtrot and Snake's Bladder, so you can imagine what kind of hellhole it is. He was raised up on a wheat farm by a family of lapsed Mennonites who were considering joining B'hai, which accounts for his somewhat reserved and introspective nature. Later he moved to Walla Walla so he could live near a prison and escape the hustle and bustle of La Junta.
At an early age he was attracted to brass instruments because they were the shiniest and you got to dribble spit on the floor. Inspired by the guy in Lawrence Welk's band, his dream was to play trombone and do those outrageous long armed slide pulls. After the unfortunate incident with the ming vase and the lady's ponytail, he changed to trumpet on the advice of his lawyer. He still hurts people occasionally.
Johnny N. has had many jobs during his life including pizza twirler, hot tub attendant, deck builder and various service sector jobs. Ten years ago he wrote to one of those colleges in the back of a comic book and he hasn't had one of those kind of jobs since. He lives somewhere south of San Francisco and we think he works in computers because he drives a nice car, but not too nice, and he doesn't seem as desperate for his pay at the end of a gig as the rest of the band does. John sometimes makes the other members of the band nervous because he is too quiet.
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 The newest member of Polkacide made them an offer they couldn't refuse.
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