 |  Fan Mail '00 Yeah GW, our first show was 2/11/85 at the Mab - I think it was the 11th. ZeoGold you polka on my polka brother/sister. Oh so pc in this the year of our Ward Ought One, ought one, well yeah one ought - 1/12, 1/13 and 2/3 one ought POLKA.
JJ Hey Zeo, if I'm not mistaken, Polkacide is coming up on their 16 year anniversary. Is that the correct figure JJack? Wow, up until last month I thought my buddy and I invented the concept of hardcore polka. Then I discovered you guys on the net. Whoa. You guys are my heros now. I shall now return to my accordian lessons. Ho Ho Ho! Now I'm ready to POLKA! I've played your CD probably 500 times. I'm getting my tuba chops together.
Next time you come to Portland, I'll be able to help you out. I enjoyed you last
summer at the Portland Brewery. Nothing wrong with your bass guitar player but
a polka band needs a tuba. Until then Polka on!
well ward, sorry to hear the excess of surfer testosterone in the cabana has made you lonesome. soon you'll be back home, and surrounded by your sluts.
i wonder why you guys never came up with a beverage. i am thinking a hard cider, called, ta da, polkacider.
you might have a merchandising dilly on your hands!!
love to all and happy all the holidays
muf It's only been a week - give wardo a chance AND the whole island will be impregnated (well he is 50 maybe half the island... no the whole island) Ward called and said there's nobody lonelier for feminine companionship than a surfer on the North Shore of the Big Island in December. Apparently it's him in a hostel with several dozen twenty-two-year-old guys, so-so waves, and no women. Says he couldn't be happier, but I sense an opening for neophyte Polkasluts. Go out there and shout for Beetlejuice - my brain-damaged relative got them confused once, and Ward was so tickled, he's sure to respond. Give him my love and don't tug on his ear-hair. Hey GW - I was thinking of basting that Wild Turkey with Ginger Ale, the tequila with grapefruit juice (don't want to come down with a case of scurvy)the HAM with mustard, honey and beer, and myself--well with everything (except the cheeseball that the J' girl and I finished off last night).Anyone else want to share their recipes? Aloha Lil' Wardo.BURP Hey JJ, you going to baste that Wild Turkey? Happy turkey day to all the Polka pals. --g Lets see - cases and cases of assorted ales and IPA, check. Bottles of Wild Turkey and tequila, check. Cheese balls - check. A big ham, check. OK I can get through this week without Polka. What, Polka season is over? Seems like you just get your leiderhosen oiled up and feeling good and the whole thing abruptly stops. What's up with that? I, too, was at the last gig. It rumbled the rafters! The Polkaholics were really fucking good, and you all--well let's just say I seen a few Polkacide gigs and that one was a keeper. Happy fucking New Year or whenever. thanks for getting the polkaholics out here - they were great. AND you guys fucking rocked the house - I've seen POLKACIDE more than most and friday was cranked, tight yet crazed,your bass player was in another world, eyes closed and head bopping just totaly locked, horns a blaring, accordion a squeezing, clarinet a soaring - fucking incredible. Thank you polkacide for the polka orgy. Just saw the Bottom of the Hill show last night in San Francisco, and it was undoubtedly the best I've ever seen Polkacide play! The energy was absolutely out of control! Or at least that's how all the beer I drank made it seem, anyway... Thanks to everyone for coming out and dancing with me, thanks to the band for being more incredible than ever, and thanks to myself for just being amazing. No, really!
POLKA POWER!
Hal
As any Pcide show people should dress accordionly - dontcha tink Oh boy!! I can't wait! Those Polkaholics are the greatest three piece polka punk band in the world. Time for some of that Chicago style polka happiness. That last gig in Milwaukee was a complete gas, man!!! It'll be great to hoist an Old Style with Dandy Don and Jumpin' George...if we can find one. If not we'll have to make 'em drink some hill swill...brewed right down the street. Is this a mandatory costume gig for the audience? Ladies, we wanta see some drindls, OK? Impor,
We have one more fest - The Oktoberhallowienerdogfest & Polka medicine show with the Polkaholics (Chicago) and Big Lou's Polka casserole at the Bottom of the Hill on Friday 10/27. Should be a BEER drinking polka/slam dancing good time - you betcha Well, I don't care what anybody says, as far as I'm concerned it was a very successfull season. Sure there were lots of ups and downs, good times and admitedley pretty bad times, but everyone pulled together and that's the mark of greatness. Considering the rigors of travel, the late nights, the poor nutrition, all the usual distractions. everyone played at least up to their potential and there were moments of pure beauty. I had the time of my life and made memories to match. Wait 'til next year when we come back and do it even better than this great one. Yeah, Polkacide had a swell Oktoberfest season again this year. Too bad about the Giants, though. Great first season in a great new ballpark! Can anyone get us a gig playing out in the center field fun zone? I wanna watch a game laying in that big mitt! Go Giants! Hi Ryan! I'm glad you like the hat . It was great meeting you and I hope you and your Dad both had a good time. I'll be
looking for you next time we play in Las Vegas. You're a very cool guy. I told some ladies on the dance floor about you during our second set and they all wanted to dance with you! See you later , buddy.
Neal,
My name is Ryan, I am the 8 year old boy you met at Gordon Bierch on 30 September. Thanks for the hat, I'm wearing it now. I enjoyed your show and I liked the music you played. I think the spikes in your head are cool. I cant wait to see you again next year. Your buddy, Ryan. at the mad greeks in baker!! they have awesome mid east food and the decor is ultra fab. have fun in vegas. i will get my step granny to hook you up with her friendly gals--they provide discreet outcall services for discriminating gentlemen .
no offense to the most respected baba ram basa, but his rose of sharon would most likely not allow the harem access to the exhaulted one. so it must be an act of devotion on your part, hisky, in contribution to the enlightenment group mind. Impy, where did Baba Ram Basa go to eat that night in Portland anyway? All I found was a pizza parlor with some rickety old furniture. The beer was good, though...
Yo Muffi, I don't think I could do Portland long term. I'm as far north as I can handle right now! This coming weekend we're going to your homeland...Las Vegas, Nevada. A jewel dropped into the mouth of hell! Can you come along and show us where the showgirls hang out on their nights off? We're all goin' down in a big ole van. We get to drive past Edwards Air Force Base, where they land the space shuttle, and the world famous Tehachapi Loop!!! If we're short on room we can always tie JX to the bumper...he kinda likes to ride that way. Oh yeah, and you won't want to miss the world's tallest thermometer at Bun Boy in Baker!!! They got date shakes and everything! Oh, and you can help Sharon keep Neil away from the schnapps girrrls! We don't want to get anybody speared like last year! wow impy-
cuzin neil satisfied with enuf beer? that seems somehow like a fullfillment of the deepest desires of his psyche, almost as if he reached his destiny. do you feel that perhaps he might be now enlightened? then now maybe there could be a pcide cult, and you could have an ashram in portland? baba neilbasa. and you could have a web design firm there and wear nikes and drink beer all day. and when the great budwiser wagon flies thru the sky we could all go with those clydesdales
just a thought.
glad it was fun
m Portland POLKAS!!!! The brewfest was wayyy gnarly! It was like we were on the planet BEER! There was even enogh that my cousin Neil Basa was satisfied, and he drinks his brew straight from the hogshead! It was great sharing the stage with Those Damn Accordians! What a great crowd. The entire audience was swimming in beer and polka love! We'll be BAAAACK!!#$@!!@!! Going up to Portland Gonna drink some beer gonna dance the polka gonna be at the PORTLAND BREWING CO. drinking beer dancing the polka with Polkacide. Lock up your dogs and your daughters Sam Monella and Tall Prune are both barking up the wrong tree (dog reference intentional) with their attacks. Muffi is anything but a big dude, though she can bring a world of hurt when provoked! So back off web wankers!!! Muff as far as providing protection for the ladies, your 400 year old virgins will be safe with me, though I do like older women. The one they'll have to watch out for is that bass playing Lance Boyle character, he's a real lady slayer and a snappy dresser to boot!! hey paul-
just a heads up
that muffi chick isnt a chick at all. I hear shes a big dude and her email is leatherman69@chutes.com
dudes like that can really hurt you. so dont go playing around with that internet romance stuff, your bound to get hurt. Just ask Ward.
Sam oooh! hegemony! we aren't half special with the fancy words now are we? i'm telling you, in the words of that famous canadian philosopher randy bachman, "you ain't seen nuthin' yet!" no sir i'll show you hegemony if you want hegemony.
by the way this muffi chick sounds kinda hot. can someone give me her phone number? Someone was posing as me in your fanmail postings. My last name is schwartz, and I am the princess of nevada. I dont know who mcshlotzky is nor mr breath. They are vulgar and rude and are giving me a bad name. I hope that whomever has been posing as me will kindly stop, I have a reputation to maintain, and as princess of nevada, I cannot have this kind of rumormongering tarnishing my crown.
i am planning to attend your cotati festivities with my court, and i hope that impy will be providing some kind of security for them, as they are all virginal 15th century maidens. jjack, thanks for breaking up the blah blah blah hegemony of Dung Eater and Dick Breath. I mean it was getting awfully oppressive in here with all that hot, stinky air.
Ah yes the Tenth Anniversary of the Cotati Accordion Festival is coming up. Polkacide will be closing the fest Sunday night August 27th. Beer, sausages and maybe the annual trip to Little Bavaria, yes little polka pals it doesn't get much better than this (well as long as lil Wardo doesn't need the Mayors help to keep from being arrested). Come on out and POLKA.
Dear Mr. Dick Breath
for a lawyer your attention to detail is remarkably lax. it's not poopoodookieeater as you so negligently wrote. (note the clumsy confluence of vowels.) the name is littledookiepoopooeater. please get it right! Dear Mr. Poopoodookieeater,
Ms. McSchlotzky requests that you cease and desist in referring to her as "cute mad". She insists that she is "pig-biting" mad and that you refer to her as "pig-biting mad in any further correspondence. And, for your information, my distinguished family descends from the Mayflower Breath's, whom you may have heard of from my famous grandfather "Harry" Dick Breath the First.
Thank You and Good Day
Mr. Dick P. Breath Looks like the scat man has arrived. Things will never be the same. No, wait. Do I detect the faint smell of haggis? Oh my god, it's worse than I thought! dear mr dick breath; if indeed that is your real name, i suspect that this website is a snakepit of cowering, simpering pantywaists hiding behind fictionalized names and too afraid to deal with the real world, i apologize to ms. mcschlotzky because she sounds kind of cute mad. but because you are a lawyer and i've just apologized i am now forced to challenge you to a duel. kielbasas at 10 paces. meet me in front of the schwarz sausage company on mission st. at 12 midnight tonight. bring along the muffi girl as a witness. Would that be the McSchlotskys of old County Clare? i have sincerely taken offense to any accusation of fictionalizing my birth name. I was named after my great grandfather Muffi Seamus McShlotzky and insist that whomever mr poopoodookie is he should issue a formal apology through my lawyer, Mr. Dick Breath.
Thank You and Good Day This place was much better before the intellectuals showed up..... i just think it's really lame when people have to hide behind obviously contrived names. like that guy littledookiepoopooeater. i mean come on. and what about that guy cassius? what's up with that? man that shit's booty! Them's fightin' words littledookiepoopooeater! don't you people have anything better to do with your time than sit around on your fat, sausage butts and talk about beer. and the names! they're all made up, i mean who would call themselves impor or muffi?! To get to the store to buy beer, of course! Why would a fish ever need a bicycle? i am a feminist beer drinker anyway.
that means
a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle
but a woman needs a delicious beer like a fish needs the sea
tHe aNArChiSt BEER dRinKeR >> aLL i hAVe To saY is F yUse aLL
Impocito, it goes like this.
Hey Jefe...what are the side effects when a conservative drinks beer? Personaly I'm a socialist drinker myself. Muffi, you're repeating yourself! That's a side-effect of liberal beer consumption -- so I'm told. save those sausages for me for the trip to cotati. Maybe save those beers too but I think that is too much to ask. save those sausages for me for the trip to cotati. Maybe save those beers too but I think that is too much to ask. Muffi,
As it turns out we had room in the van (the Basas went on their own) more sausages then we could eat (not to mention pie, blt's and cheeseyburgers at Nations). We even ended up with a couple of extra beers at the end of the trip. Maybe we can get you to go up to Cotati with us which includes the infamous annual trip to little Bavaria (unless they finaly got smart and are closing that night). There IS a lot of gas this particular midst, isn't there? hey
i wanted to let you know I had a great time on the road with you Polkaciders. It was a total gas. You are very nice too. I mean, I enjoyed meeting and hanging with you guys(and Maggie). I hope are paths will cross soon. You are an amazing band and the Polkaholics were honored to be a part of your introduction to the Midwest!
keep in touch can I be your roadie for the sausage fest?
I promise to get really drunk on beer on the way and be too f**ked up to move equipment...
muffi mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.................. No blut. I think it's going to be a purely lips and snouts kind of affair. My cousin wants to know if that means they won't be serving Blutwurst there? That's our favorite! Especially the Schwartzwurst! Ausgezeichnet!!! Out-to-pasture bull intestines would be my guess seeing how they have "bloodless" bullfights there in Escalon a couple of time a year. That means some really BIG links to go with the warm beer and valley dust. Speaking of sausage, what kind of stuffed intestines is Escalon famous for? Beer is beer, especially someplace where its probably going to be 115 degrees, but is this Sausage and Beer Festival gonna have some good links or what? I'm just asking for my cousin's sake, dontcha know......... wow nielbasa had quite the swinging links if you know what i mean...
neil needs his own website.
muffi Imp
They said we don't have to shave so I guess we won't be nekkid. Do you think we need to wear clothes? I was just wondering, because these lederhosen are starting to chafe my legs Hey, are we going to play nekkid at the show at the Fillmore? I mean it says Live Nude Bands or some such. I'm just wonderin', cause if we are, I'm gonna have to start working on my tan pronto! Oh yeah...I don't remember any Polish annexation here in California, although I do remember us sellin' 'em a bridge or two... (sorry, Ward) BELCH!! ...just finishin' off a bottle of Fat Weasel Celebration Ale, in training for Polka Pit on Cinco de Mayo. Hey, is that topless chick from the CW show gonna be there??
How was Milwaukee??
"I love you all!" --O.Osborne
Ah yes little polka pals - we've made it back from the Meat and Beer tour. No major casualties although my blood alcohol level got dangerously low on the trip from Minneapolis to Milwaukee.
Thanks to all the people at the Beat Kitchen, Lee's Liquor Bar, Cactus Club, O'Cayz, the Polkaholics and all the little polka pals that braved the polka medicine and revue shows.
Time to polka here in SF - Sinko day Mayo 5/5 the Bottom of the Hill with HERB
Cactus club, in Milwaukee. C'mon, we coulda fit two-three more skinny people in. Hope you guys enjoyed Brewtown, cuz we LOVED IT!
Anyways, we urge you to contact the Summerfest people, see if you can't get back up here for our eleven day festival of beer, music, beer, and just general misbehaving on the Lake. Cuttin' lose to shake the cabin fever.
Talk to Big Lou at TDA, she'll tell you. Buuuuurrrp! What day is it? To whoever I talked to @ O'Kayz:
The song you need to cover is The Toons - Punk Rock Polka
Part of the lyrics follow. . .
Day two. Where were you? Going to Chicago, Chicago... That's one down. Three to go. The ground is shakin' around Lake Michigan. POLKA POLKA POLKA... I had a dream. It was opaque - at first. Then realized it was amber waves of grain. In the middle of said grain, up popped two huge Chihuahuas, each four inches high, one bearing a shocking pink fuzzy collar, the other sporting a harness topped with minute spikes. They were fastened to a twinned leash attached to . . attached to . . (my breath caught and my fingers went into accordion formation as the reality broke [ouch!] upon my brain . .
A Polka Band. Unleashed. Upon. The Midwest. Polka on little Polka Dude - see you at the fest Hay you guys, I am a 15 year old guy that has formed his own slovevian/cleveland style polka band. I saw you guys at catoti two years ago. I is preety cool that you guys can take a good polka and make it sound like a heaavy rockers sound. I have now been playing for polka dances in the san frincisco area and the sacremento area. I have a sax player,drums,guitar and me on button accordion and piano accordion. Hope to talk to you guys in catoti.
POlkativily
POlkaking Say hey, it's April Fools day. Greetings to the band, you wacky bunch of channelers of the Polka Beat. Hope they are oiling up their leiderhosen in the Midwest in preparation for the upcoming tour, cause I imagine there'll be a lot of chafing going on in the Polka pit. Dada dada daaaa da da... HAPPY SAY HEY DAY Howdy Linda! . . occasionally he is, so to speak. But I think he prefers Myrtle Beach in July above all. Re: SF Weekly article--We've been trying to get him locked away somewhere soft for years. impy-
save me some of that green stuff cuz I will be at your show this weekend, and I like the rainbow part, (so much prettier that way!) and green beer left to sit on the window sill for a week or so has a bit more of a "wang" to it, so I dont mind if you let it "breathe" for a while (thats what i did and it makes for a great breakfast)
shinsherely
mufshi Muff- You shoulda invited yourself along to me and JX's Paddy's day confab. There was lotsa green beer and for some reason the green wursts didn't go over too well with the other guests. Things were going great until JX began his famed green weiner dance and spattered everyone with hot gobs of green grease! I brought the leftovers home in a paper sack and now there even greener and the sack has kind of a shiny rainbow look to it. They don't taste too bad though, if ya put a lot of mustard on 'em! Oh polka gods, please deliver me to that guy in front. The guy with the foghorn voice; oh, lord, you KNOW his voice. Please drape me in his big old grey head, in his wiry armpit hair, his wiry everything (we devoutly hope, oh lord). Let me hear his cough of a morning. Let me rub balm into his wounds, because he is the bray, the odor, the harsh sax of my morning. Oh YES. Anybody have his ph#? I am home alone (sniff) on St Patricks day night watching Worlds Wildest Police Chases and lo and behold some footage of you folks up (Basa, Ward, it still looks like you with suntan pantyhose on your heads) in Alberta! Well what have we heer (tsk tsk). Bootleg weiners and bootleg beer. I told you that they dont go for that stuff up in Canada and there you are on nat'l tv throwing bags of contraband kielbasa and blackmarket sauerkraut out the window like nobody in a police car following you at 95mph will notice. The cops just drive right over that stuff, blow out your tires, and put you in the klink for a good part of Feb.!! Thats why impors chinese new years party was deviod of p-ciders. Next time, guys, take my advice and eat the stuff. Its much easier to smuggle basas and beer over the border that way. And if you down it in zip lock baggies you can always retrieve it for later. you should have asked me and avoided that $60,000.00 dollar bail that your manager had to put up.
sincerely,
muffsi Do my eyes deceive me - is polkacide really coming to the mid-west? Your lead singer is ZOOPING! The guy who with the Einstein hair. How old is he? I heard he strips on stage. YES! Barely! We had a show last weekend?? Was I there??#^^$%?? Had a wunnerful time @ the CW 15th anniversary show!! Thanks for always making me happy with yer music. Polka on!!! CONGRATS TO BRAVE COMBO FOR WINNING THIS YEARS POLKA GRAMMY FOR THEIR GREAT CD POLKASONIC
POLKA 2000 GUYS
In the news today - A river of beer running under the streets of Portland - Basaman lets get the scuba gear Posted (not by me) on my company's forum page: Wow, Polkacide is quite well known throughout the Bay Area! Sharon's married to a genuine Rock Star!
Of course, I informed them he was "a genuine POLKA rock star" Love the new baseball caps TAKE ME OUT TO THE POLKA... buy me some beer and a polish dog I think it has to do with your forehead and the floor! Impor, what's "scraping?" Sounds really bad! Well Adrienne, first you hafta do a lot of bowing and scraping....a healthy dose obsequiesiesness and of course the obligatory bootlicking campaign! If you ever need some practice I offer my help in this important matter. I don't share the need to be kowtowed to that most music biz types do, but I would sacrifice some of my dignity in this one case. If you are really as serious about your feet as you seem to be I suggest we begin today! You guys rock!!!! I've always loved Polka, and you guys take the cake! I have a polka band myself as well, we're called The Temptresses. We haven't got our foor in the door of the actual music industry, like you guys have, but we try! Please e-mail me back telling me all about you polka adventures!!! Luv- Adrienne All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. grrrrrrrrrrr! arf! arf! arf! Hey - how about that big wiener dog race in Houston this weekend - that number 5 wienie was really moving. was that Neil behind him? the queen had a momentary lapse in consciousness from the task at hand....as i was saying....neil basa, from the beginning has been the force behind polkacide...he has been there from day one; honing the musical skills of the entire group. i was there!
enjoy the traditional sound of "POLKA" from THE MOST UNUSUAL POLKA BAND you'll ever see.
thanks, the queen. Congratulations Mr. Basa for the outstanding effort! You big strong "Utility Man." Happy Millennium everyone. Neil Basa graduates tomorrow night and we'll be celebrating with keishka and beer!!!! He's now a utility man. Send that man congrats...4.0 and perfect attendance! Let's toast him Friday eve at Harrington's! What say? What is this all about, I've never heardof this polkacide before. Send me some stuff? How can I get you to come to San Antonio and do a gig? I LOVE the weiner polka. A friend who heard ya'll in San Fran told me about you. I visited the website for a bit and thought DANG ... y'all need to come to these parts. =)
Let me know. I truly look forward to your response.
Angie chorse1177@aol.com
All I want to know is--who stole the GLITCH?
Happy New Millennium!!!
Bubb bubb@large
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