 |  Fan Mail '98Mookie Mookieville Sat Dec 27 18:38:23 PST 1997 Hey! Where are you guys playing on New Year's Eve??? PolkaMomma sharonk@heald.edu Sat Dec 27 19:13:43 PST 1997 Dear Muffster; Alas, I'm writing this from some dingy Greyhound bus station in Nogales, stuck and without any way to make my way back to S.F. Mr. Basa accidentally drank some Bud Light (they served it in a Spaaten glass - how could he have known?!?) at my sister's house in Modesto and went on a rampage, shattering all the Christmas decorations and sending their pet dachsund hiding for his dear life in the jello mold. My brothers were so pissed off that they took him down to Tucson where they dropped him off at Maggie's farm. Maggie, being the astute accordian player she is, quickly revived him by holding a vienershnitzel under his nose, but his head was still not cleared and somehow he got away and wandered off in the desert. I heard from his spiritual advisor, Rev. Elvister, that he hooked up with Linky (I hear he's very good at howling at wolves) and a prayer-writing minx called Lexie, and somehow ended up joining a traveling roadshow that sometimes sells loose donkies in a Nogales bar. But which bar???!? I've been in and out of at least two since arriving yesterday morn and woke up sprawled in the men's room with "polkaslut" written in hairspray on the bathroom mirror. The smell of Aquanet still lingers in the air. Help me! Johnny Jack has wired me money to continue my search for Mr. Basa, but I need help in luring him out. You will have to do the same spell we used the last time...get a (no, make that two) liters of Zywiec and a hunk of kielbasa and do the holy Polka under the new moon at midnight on Monday. Sing a rendition of the "Beer Barrel Polka". If enough of us all join together perhaps he will hear and come out of whatever hellhole he's hiding in now. I will go back out to the desert to await him...as is my place as his faithful wife. There will be no polkaing in the Basa household until you bring my kieshka back to me. Desperately awaiting your spell, Polkamom P.S. and, of course, none on New Year's Eve either, Mokie. Johnny Jack Polkageists@me Mon Dec 29 11:18:00 PST 1997 PolkaMomma, In a moment of clarity (and realizing that I'm out of Tequila) I remembered a spot South of the Border where that Basa boy might be. Since I gave you all my money I had to scam Impie by saying that I would sell him my whole polka collection (never give out the cash before the vinyl is in the hand, heh heh). I've loaded the car with supplies (7 cases of Spaaten, 4 bottles of 151 rum and a ham) and grabbed Lil' Wardo, who being in a complete prozac haze has agreed to drive us there to pick you and the B man up. Since we want to have a Happy Nude Year and the fact that the smell of Aqua Net in the morning reminds of us victory, we've picked up a couple of Polka Slutz (J' & RJ) and we're getting out of town before Impie figures out whats up and sends JX the noseman to track us down. Stay where you are, we'll see ya soon. J.J. P-Momster likewowman@peyote Tue Dec 30 21:14:44 PST 1997 Oh, wow...the colors, the colors. DByrne Ballard@aqua.net Wed Dec 31 08:13:14 PST 1997 BASA ALERT! Just sighted the B-man. Was gathering a tribe of loyal followers & muttering N'Orleans...think he could have slipped by P-mom??? Mokie Mokieville Wed Dec 31 08:27:49 PST 1997 Hey! Does that mean you guys aren't playing tonight? PolkaMomma SlutzRUs@aqua.net Wed Dec 31 16:10:22 PST 1997 Johnny? Muffster? Where are you guys? I've found myself back at the Greyhound station in Nogales - I think I saw God last night...Did someone say New Orleans? No, I don't think so...already there is a legend here of a Sausage Lord who has created a new society deep in the mountains. It is rumored that he is an ex-polka guy, top level, who one day walked away from all the fame & glory...can it be him? Oh where, oh where has my little god gone? I think we must send for JX. He may be my only hope.....Forlornly yours, P-ma P.S. Gretchen...did you get the Jaegermeister? PolkaNewsUpdate Polka@Aqua.net Fri Jan 2 08:26:38 PST 1998 Day 8: Neil Basa is still missing...It is now feared that JJ and Lord are lost in the Sonoran desert...2 sluts were found wandering the town of Gerlach: their hair, however, was fine...It is unknown whether or not Impy has caught onto JJ's subterfuge, but the "New Polka Records Have Arrived!!!" sign has come down...JX Lovejones was last seen pedaling East on 580...Lawrence has filed immigration papers to Poland...there ain't anybody at Maggie's Farm no more...Rev. Elvister has taken his ministry on the road; Ed is his new altar boy...Newguyski still hasn't been told. Impor Hisky red@mycheeks Fri Jan 2 12:09:44 PST 1998 Well, that's torn it. I'm through with Janet and that crowd. She got really drunk at the Joint Chief's New Year's Eve party at Cheyenne Mt., and slapped my face in front of Colin and General Schwartzkopf and everyone. She was just jealous because I got sandwiched with Tipper in front and Charo behind during a wild conga line. Tipper kept stopping so I'd run into her, and then Charo and the rest would come crashing in from the rear!! Anyway, in the middle of the party I got paged by JX, who informed me of my cousins disappearance. We snuck away to the ready room and were just about to scramble the entire southwestern sector strategic air command to initiate a massive search, when out from under a desk pops Henry, you know, Kissinger, and he's with that gal from the X-Files, and her hair is a mess, and her skirt is kinda ruffled. Well, Henry's shakin' a big ole silver plated hair brush at us, so we book out of there. Last I saw of JX he was pedalin' south towards Raton in a snowstorm with his pipe firmly clenched between his teeth. I'm hidin' out in St. George, Utah, but tryin' to pass as a Mormon is not my forte. I'm hoppin' the next freight to Boron and then I'll head over Tehachapi Pass. I should be back in Frisco soon. I hope the dust has settled by then! Mokie Mokieville Sat Jan 3 11:38:42 PST 1998 I thought Charo was dead? Impie bulge@mypants Sat Jan 3 17:59:55 PST 1998 Mokie--I can assure you that Charo is far from dead!! PolkaMomma No@mylap.wiener Sun Jan 4 09:04:40 PST 1998 Excuse me, but I have a husband missing here. Impy, I think you spend entirely too much time on your social life - and Janet wasn't worthy of you anyway. Meanwhile, besides my hubby, Johnny Jack and the Lord haven't responded in several days, the Muffster is definitely a no show, and the rest of the band hasn't even been heard from. After all the polkas, frailichs, drunkern waltz's and rolls-in-the-beer I've taken for you guys, not to mention the torn clothing and broken nose, you'd think someone would come to MY aid!!!! Unconsolably yours, PMom Muffy mickyc@sfsu.edu Sun Jan 4 17:40:57 PST 1998 P-Ma...Your Basa's been spotted. Stinky called from Wonderland (Michael Jacksons palace) and apparently Neil is in a (very young) chimp suit trying to entice the king of pop. What surprises me is not that hes gone AWOL for pop but that hes drinking a lot of bud light (supposedly). Stinky has tried to talk him down and away from MJ and his magic wand but no amount of bargaining with pilsner and hot links seems to work. I think you're gonna need to be air-lifted in (in a see-thru you-know-what) and hopefully we can bring him back. I hope its not too late. Perhaps if Impy "pulls" a favor with/for Janet she can get Air Force One on the job and we'll get you in there. Im sorry, I feel for you in this time of great tradgedy. Yours-Muffy PS I would have responded sooner but Ive been losing my a-- in Vegas. Mokie Mokievlle.com Sun Jan 4 22:02:46 PST 1998 P-mamma, disregard Muffy's message. NO WAY is the Basa man at Michael Jacksons in a monkey suit. Stinky never even left town, he just got ahold of some Bad Acid and Muffy is too stoned to know the difference. Anybody who would believe that Neil Basa is on a diet of BUD LITE and/or would turn down sausage and good PILSNER has serious brain damage. Freinds in PRAGUE report seeing a spike headed man in lederhosen breaking into the PILSNER URQUELL brewery carrying a snorkel, diving mask, flippers and swim trunks...could it be your long lost Basa went to fulfil his life long dream?? Johnny Jack Found@pargue.URquell Mon Jan 5 09:50:41 PST 1998 PM, mokie was right, I found Neal baby - HEY SHUT UP NEIL - doing his snorkel thing in the Pilsner vats, I've talked him into coming back to the states. Ward is - NEIL LEAVE THAT ALONE - going to pick you up and meet us in New Orleans. We will be going to the Abita Brewery in Abita Springs first (yes, to continue Neil's training of world class beer snorkeling). We'll meet you at Vics Kangaroo club on Tchoupitoulas St. Hopefully - NEIL IF YOU DRINK IT ALL NOW, THERE WON'T BE ANY FOR LATER - we can all meet up and head back to Frisco - it's time to polka, hope to see everyone soon, I need help with this guy. JJ PolkaMom dontcallitFRISCO! Mon Jan 5 17:47:17 PST 1998 JJ - HELP! If that's Neil, who's this guy beside me? g. wiumski gski@large.com Mon Jan 5 21:18:41 PST 1998 All this speculation! If you really must know, I happened upon a box of fresh Cohibas and, being the nice guy that I am, offered one to Neil. Well, no sooner than two ash flicks later, Neil suggests that we head off to a great cigar & beer tavern south of the city. I had no idea that "south of the city" meant Bakersfield. Next thing I know, I'm drinking Spaaten and puffing Cohibas in a Hell's Angel polka palace -- replete with angelinas, oysters, and... Well, JESUS, I figured I should call Maggie, but Neil say "Hey, man, she won't miss you for a day or two." So I thought, "What the hell, let's PARTY!" Next thing I know I'm in Czechoslovakia floating in brew, breathing through a tube, and staring at an image of the Madonna formed in the sediment at the bottom of the tank... All I could think was, "I wanna go home." Now it's over, but I think I really understand. PM @Lordknows Tue Jan 6 06:57:04 PST 1998 Oooh, my head. Now I see it was just Ed Ivey doing his Basa impersonation. It was the thumb tacks on his head that threw me. If my kieshka is coming home to me, then I think someone should go see about Muffinski and Linky. Impor, have you used up all your favors covering up that Charo thing? If not, please see what you can do at Wonderland. Gary, I'm holding you personally responsible. And you, Johnny Jack! Do you really think New Orleans is safe for Mr. Basa to b-flat in? And what about that spike-worshipping tribe in the mountains? Impie outside@cold Tue Jan 6 13:24:13 PST 1998 I'm stuck on the side of Highway 33 near Avenal. I think James Dean ate it right around here somewhere. I can't seem to get a ride from anyone and the screen on my laptop has gone kerflooey. The Spice Girl screensaver has stuck, blinking on a fractured image of Posh Spice....and I like Baby Spice!!! Hopefuly my uplink is working and somebody will get this message andrun down here from Frisco and rescue me. Oh my Beer, why hast though forsaken me?? Nieuwguyski charnel@yucca.mtn.gov Thu Jan 8 14:53:06 PST 1998 Impie, I tried to pick you up but missed you in Saint George. When I heard you'd left town (and avoided the lynch mob that formed when the locals found out I knew you), I pushed on, following the trail of empties. Unfortunately, I haven't slept since I left Boston and I must have dozed off... All I know is, one second I was on highway 95 about 50 miles north of Las Vegas, and the next I woke up to discover my Volvo slowly sinking in a railroad car full of rancid kielbasa. I'm up on the roof now, but the fins just disappeared under the grease and I don't know how much longer me or the laptop's batteries can hold out. Worst of all, now JX won't get his fresh crabcakes, and you know how pissed off he'll be. I can see radioactive waste symbols on the other cars in this train - I'm getting a bad feeling that we're headed for Yucca Mountain, but why would the government be burying rotten sausage at a nuclear waste disposal site? The grease is up to the top of the windows now - I think I'll have to swim for it. If I don't make it, quaff a brew for me. Sorry I never got that damn whinny right... PM CafeduMonde Thu Jan 15 08:06:23 PST 1998 Happy Birthday, Charo! 47 today! Impie embarassed@mygullibility Thu Jan 15 11:19:32 PST 1998 47!! She told me she was 35! Mokie Mokieville Fri Jan 16 06:54:34 PST 1998 If you cross Charo with Impie, do you get Chimpies? PolkaMa @CafeduMonde Sat Jan 17 09:22:50 PST 1998 Impy! I'm so glad you are o.k!!! It gave me the willies to think of you, alone and stranded, at the James Dean Memorial. Neuguyski's quick thinking act of automobile sacrifice must have done the trick! Since you apparently took some time away from the record store, perhaps you'd care to join me for some coffee and beignets? Seems I don't recognize anyone here....... ImporHisky frhisky@bierhalle.edu Mon Jan 19 13:23:02 PST 1998 PM-coffee sounds great but I just had a beignet removed a couple of months ago and it was kinda painful. Lucky for me it was benign. But I do like my coffee, especially beerpucino!! Norman Fisk www.Norm.com Mon Jan 19 17:19:24 PST 1998 HEY POLKACIDE!!! YOU GUYS ARE GREAT!! LOVE THE WEBSITE. I SAW YOU AT THE C&W SHOW and HAD a GREAT TIME! WHEN"S THE CD GOING TO BE AVAILABLE?? HOPE TO CATCH ANOTHER SHOW SOON!! SEX, BEER, AND POLKA!!! PolkaMom Godknowswhere Fri Jan 23 01:43:26 PST 1998 Alas, Norman, Polkacide has not been heard from for a very long time. They did that CW show right before Christmas, Neil then accidentally drank Bud Lite, then Impy went somewhere and J & Lord got lost and there was something about melting in fat or something (I think there was a horse in there somewhere) and ...well, I just get lost. But NO! I haven't heard them play in a long while and I"M GETTING REALLY ANTSY!!!!! HEY GUYS!! When's the next show??!? Don;'t you think it's time you did another? I know you guys are kind of reclusive and all, but hey! don't you think it's time? Johnny Jack back@thedrums Fri Jan 23 10:28:15 PST 1998 Norman & PolkaMom Okay how about Saturday, February 21 at Schroeder's German restaurant(they have Spaaten on tap) 240 Front Street Downtown S.F. Easy parking and access from Bart and Muni. I think it'll be $3 and we'll play two sets starting around 10 or so. Polka baby Polka.......................................... Wacky Jacky PolkaMomma back@home Sat Jan 24 20:17:28 PST 1998 YEA!!!! HOO-HOOO!!!! Impor first@thebuffet Mon Jan 26 15:34:09 PST 1998 Wait a minute.....Schroeder's...hmmm. Ist das nicht ein schnitzelbank?
Laura Starrgrrrl@mailexcite.com Wed Jan 28 07:52:17 PST 1998 Hi anyone wanna write a 17 year old girl? Come on! Blonde, Hazel eyes, 5/7, 100lbs and i love to have fun Starr Impor pitchin@tent Wed Jan 28 10:57:13 PST 1998 Sorry Starr, but at seventeen you're too young to drink beer....even in Wisconsin! What ever would we have to talk about? Bill Clinton eastwing@whitehouse.gov Wed Jan 28 23:21:45 PST 1998 Dear Impor, I think Starr is plenty old enough to be written to, and I'll be personally responsible for taking care of her every need. --Bill Steve Goldman cpastephen@aol.com Thu Jan 29 09:56:22 PST 1998 Dear Neil - Thanks so much for the replacement t-shirt! It's received rave reviews everywhere I've worn it. Thanks also for the bootleg tape and bumper stickers, they're fantastic! I love your sounds, kind of Spike Jonesy, please let me know when your new cd is released. I'll buy a couple. Thanks again polka pal, Steve Goldman SlutzMaster reallyPolkaMom@home Sat Jan 31 10:03:24 PST 1998 All right, you SLUTZ. You always profess all this love & stuff backstage after a 6-pack and a game of Pin The Kielbasa On A Slut, but now is the time to REALLY show your cajones. Muffster, Gretchen, Erin GET Y'R ASS IN GEAR! And what's happened to Liz, Sara, Sirrah, Paula and, from the very earliest days, how about one of the originals, ANNALISA? You can make up for Beernut Creek. Meet me SATURDAY 2/21 at SCHROEDER'S at 10:00 PM. It'll only cost you $3 (CHEAP!!) and your virginity (again). And don't forget you have to come up with appropriate homage to MAGGIE THE POLKA GODDESS (after all, what's a Polka band without an accordian player?) SuzyQ visiting@Starrgrl Sat Jan 31 10:55:41 PST 1998 Well, PolkaMistress, what kind of homage? Impie me@myshadow Thu Feb 5 11:10:28 PST 1998 Well.....obeiscance for starters, loyalty, fealty, undying allegiance, reverence, and maybe some sort of blood sacrifice....a good blutwurst and rotkohl mit kartofflen!!!! Ummmmmm, sehr gut!! Oh, and don't forget she loves beer. PolkaDude GuysPolkaAlso Fri Feb 6 20:31:06 PST 1998 Hey guys! You guys rock!!! That polka tape was totally money. Like you guys are too cool. My dad use to take me to the Farm to see you guys and I hope you guys are around for me to take my little dude. Keep on Polkain'! BFrank bfrank@sirius.com Sun Feb 8 17:08:08 PST 1998 Yo! Johnny Jack! When you guys gonna do a Tony Williams tribute show??!!??? muffi mickyc@sfsu.edu Sun Feb 8 17:31:24 PST 1998 I'm so glad to be back. I went down to Neverland (not Wonderland--thats some other pederasts theme park) to try to bring link home and the next thing I knew I was heavily sedated and acting as some sort of french maid to a lot of little Michael Jacksons in a harem type setting somewhere near the Ronald Reagan Library. Its true the Neilbasa story was a bust I think link told me that to keep me from spending our sperm and eggs' inheritance in Vegas. I ran into Janet Reno at the RR Library and she mentioned this party at Impys for Chinese New Beers Eve. She had a lacivious look about her and mentioned qiving out 25 cent Clinton specials and said she made a quite a bit of laundry money.Impy you devil!! Sorry, I cant do any pslut business (even tho I Really Want To!!)on the 21st because I am sitting in with some band at the Edinbug Castle that night. Ill be slutting for myself for a change. ANyway, So glad to be back and off the lithium. P-Ma, I Cant get that sad sound of the weinerdog polka out of my head, we must find him I think the weiner is getting lonely with no petting lately. Beer in beer out polka all about. Mufffii All of my love and I hope Schroders is a wang dang doodee Impor staring@mynavel Tue Feb 10 11:11:48 PST 1998 Muff, so sorry you can't be there, but dooty calls, eh? If ya have any leftover lith pass it on...its real good for hangovers. That JR is a real lowlife ain't she? Makin' money at my party and not even cutting me in on the deal!! And she brought that new beau of hers, that Ken Starr fellow. When he did his low mein toupee gag I almost gagged....and I'm glad there were no witnesses to their antics in the bathroom with the whole smoked duck. Suffice it to say we're still cleaning grease off of the ceiling!! We'll hoist a tankard or two for ya at the gig and try to smooth PM's ruffled feathers. Happy Birthday Polkacide - 13 years (Beers) Mark Allred@dclink.com Tue Feb 17 17:25:52 PST 1998 Hey polka pals,Wow..glad I surfed in and got caught up with polka news. Pmom next time your stuck alone in the southwest just check out http://www.hempenale.com - you'll forget you lost your Mr. Bosa. PolkaMomma hereandthere@polka Thu Feb 19 08:34:27 PST 1998 Alas, Mark, I'm afraid they have all forsaken me & Mr. Basa. On the way back from Prague, Mr. Basa must have done something to JJ & Ward because the 3 of them haven't been seen since. The word is that they're considering The Impor Hisky Revue with the Impettes as a substitute at Shroeder's. Just a rumor, tho, since I know Neil Basa has never missed a show! I'll try that hempenal site however. What the hell! g. wiumski gwiumski@szjdzckz.cz Fri Feb 20 20:01:34 PST 1998 Oh please Neil, don't let us down. I want polka shredding at Shroeder's -- and a sweaty polka pit and a sticky floor and beer smell on my clothes and four duck dances and JX's wigs and Wardo's peterhosen and Impor to drop his pants and Maggie in slutty leopard skin and Johnny Jack thrashing and Ali in polyester and Larry bleating on the front row and Newguyski whinnying like a horse and, and most of all, Neil blowing beer through his clarinet on to the unsuspecting clientele while they attempt to waltz amidst a moshing throng... Impor mycell@washoecounty Sat Feb 21 10:57:44 PST 1998 Well;. I hope my cuz shows up too, because I'm up here at the county farm in Reno. I swear that when I took that gig at the Rings of Saturn Lounge in Sparks, I had no idea that 4 out of 5 of the Impettes were underage!!! They all told me they were at least 18 when me and Ali had the auditions! I guess we should have brought in Lawrence, he's the real expert on underage employment. Anyway they've got me on interstate transpo of minors for lascivious purposes and the lawyer Ali got, Capt. R. 'Bob' McBanjo, seems like he has some kind of connections in this town, so maybe I'll get there in time for the big show. I sure hope so! gw gwiumerooski@szjdnyzchx.xyz Fri Feb 27 19:25:41 PST 1998 So what gives??? A whole week and no witty repartee? I guess I'll have to occupy myself with cheap Grammy gossip. "Doesn't mean much, doesn't mean anything at all... Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet surrender..." Prost PolkaonemoretimeMomma justcatchingmybreath@home Sat Feb 28 07:51:34 PST 1998 Well,G, it always takes us awhile to catch our breath after one of those shows...and that was a hell of a show!! Started off with the Polka Prayer, segued to a rousting Polka mosh, had JJ doing a Donny impersonation and had FOUR new polkaslutz that I have never seen before!!! Ruby, the original Punk Bitch was there (boy we love you still!), the Markster was there with his new ShowBoat, and we spotted quite a few celebrities bellying up to the bar. But I got to tell you...Maggie saved the day. When she hurled her accordian-playing body into the crowd and started that Polka/Conga line, with Ivey and his tuba (and you, of course) leading the rear, BOY THAT WAS A SIGHT from the days of pure polka bliss when the guys couldn't play their instruments and everyone danced anyway. I'm always in heaven when I'm drunk and polkain'. Great show guys, even though you all will deny it!!!! ImporHisky driving@porcelainbus Sun Mar 1 10:49:28 PST 1998 More Beers! My head still hurts......ohhhh.....More Beers!! Polka Momma, we are nothing without your divine inspiration, and as we all know, success is 50% inspiration and 50% beerspiration!! Burrrrrp! Al cartdude@ Sun Mar 1 19:05:16 PST 1998 Hey, i was just surfing around looking at "beer" sites & came across you...do you guys really do that stuff? Where do you guys play? Is this a real band? Mokie Mokieville Thu Mar 5 21:20:08 PST 1998 Hey, man. Are you for real? Impor timespace@contiumn Sat Mar 7 19:39:29 PST 1998 Oh no! Not another tedious epistomological discussion on the Polkacide chat page. You all know how much it upsets Reverend Ward when people start talking cosmogony. And don't even get Alister started on those frenchy deconstructionists. I'd rather listen to Neil expound his theories on harmonic plasma loci as the basis for matter than get everybody riled up about that Foucalt guy!! Mookie Mokie'sbro@Mookieville Sun Mar 8 05:42:16 PST 1998 huh? JP Sartre beyond@nothingness.org Mon Mar 9 21:10:22 PST 1998 Foucault was a blowhard (and I'm not referring to his sexual preference). Epistomology never was anything but tedious. And as for cosmogony, doesn't Reverand Ward recapitulate it everytime he does that "Heaven" thing. I mean, hell is other people. Impor angels@pinhead.edu Tue Mar 10 11:58:14 PST 1998 You've got a good point there!! You also have a whole in your head............but that's beside the point.......... Impor angels@pinhead.edu Tue Mar 10 11:58:56 PST 1998 You've got a good point there!! You also have a whole in your head............but that's beside the point.......... Impor angels@pinhead.edu Tue Mar 10 11:59:19 PST 1998 You've got a good point there!! You also have a whole in your head............but that's beside the point.......... impie bubbles@mybrain Tue Mar 10 12:43:54 PST 1998 bbbbuurrrrpppppp!!!!! RandaQuestions randa@home Sun Mar 15 10:20:51 PST 1998 Dear PolkaMama; Any solutions to beer stains on my dirndl? PolkaMomma sharonk@heald.edu Sun Mar 15 10:24:57 PST 1998 Dear Randa; Beer stains are most effective when highlighted with fabric paint and turned into pictures of wieners & sausages. See you at the next show (Bottom of the Hill, Sat. 3/21, SF)! - P-Mom muffi and candi mickyc@sfsu.edu Tue Mar 17 15:01:50 PST 1998 hi polkacide; I have an aspiring polkaslut here...shes been hoping for this introduction since she graduated high school last month.Shes 6'5", measures 45" 23" 36" and has a bit of what you call "spring fever". Her turn ons are guys arms driving stick shifts, veins popping on the lead singers head, tatooed beer guts, cops, (not the show) and letterbombs. Anyone seeking to contact her can do so via my e-mail or on this site...she's shy. How can I make her an official slut, anyway? love muffi PolkaMa polkatilthecowscomehome Tue Mar 17 17:43:56 PST 1998 You can't. Only the band can make her a slut. Love, PM Impor hisky@home Fri Mar 20 13:23:05 PST 1998 Polka sluts are born, not made!!! But we can help her find her inner slut...if ya know what I mean. muffy sfsu.edu Sun Mar 22 06:02:30 PST 1998 candii waddded up her bra and her shyness at the boh and was too drunk to show it, sorry polkacide i thot i had a slut but the penis-l-vein-ya poke-a was too much. hearts, muffi Candii alsothere Sun Mar 22 11:05:09 PST 1998 Damn, muff. That was a hell of a rendition of Penis - vania Polka! Sorry I chickened-danced out at the last minute - Impy's great during the show, but how is he after the show? I was too afraid of being disappointed after all that steamy love-talk...is his tongue REALLY that long??!! Anyway, great show & thanx for inviting me. Chef www.Southpark.com Sun Mar 22 13:52:57 PST 1998 Impy!!! Go ahead !! Make Sweet Love to Candii!!! Impor pitchin@tent Mon Mar 23 12:09:16 PST 1998 Candii.....would that be a Finnish name? Beseiged after the show, as always, by my lesions of female admirers, you must have slipped through the crack, as it were. Truth be known, my toungue isn't really THAT long.....it just seems like it. Chef @lovegravy.com Mon Mar 23 22:25:58 PST 1998 Man, the TITANIC could slip through THAT crack.!! Now stop wastin' time, Impy, if you want to sail down the LOVE canal with Candii, and make hot, sticky, sweet love, you best see a Doctor right away and do somethin' bout them lesions!! Impor notlooking@TV Tue Mar 24 10:43:45 PST 1998 Geeze.....I don't know.....I've always had problems taking medical advice from a cartoon character...... PolkaMomma nursingtoothache@home Sat Mar 28 08:03:30 PST 1998 Well...I must say I was a little disappointed to read the bulletin this morning...wasn't anyone at THAT GREAT SHOW AT THE BOH! I mean it REALLY was goood...Good Audience - Good Music - Good Beer - GOOD POLKA PIT. Those people really knew how to Polka. You guys are the BEST BAND BAR NONE IN THE WORLD to dance & have a good time to - and isn't THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT...As one guy told me as he was leaving..."YOU CAN'T BE DEPRESSED AND POLKA." No matter how you're feeling when you arrive at a show, you always feel so much better after one. SO COME ON J'AIME and join me, in the pit or out, at the next show. I've been saddened by death, depressed by work, overtired by the daily grind AND IT ALL CHANGES! THAT'S THE KEY TO LIFE...in the end we all just die anyway. If something can make me forget for awhile and just enjoy being, I'm going to drag my ass down to a show and give it a shot. THANKS GUYS - you know I'd do anything for you. You help make life bearable................XXXOOO, PM Mokie Mokieville Sat Mar 28 08:55:22 PST 1998 A-w-w-w-w-w-w mookie mookieville Sat Mar 28 12:40:37 PST 1998 yeah, but would candii do anything? gwiumerooski gw@thesweaty.pit Sun Mar 29 16:06:27 PST 1998 I agree PolkaMomma! After a set in the PP all one can do is smile. Whew! Was I a sopping love lizard after "THAT GREAT SHOW AT THE BOH." Those who missed it are remiss. As for the Impie/Candii thing, all I can recommend is for the Impster to practice trying to touch his tongue to his nose. Push the envelope, so to speak. Candii titz.com Wed Apr 1 11:09:53 PST 1998 Hi Impie. Im shy. I have a special unicorn/polkacide shrine in my bedroom and my favorite thing to do at night is to take really really really bad acid and make contact with the wizard on my ouija board and get all the secret info about polkacide that even you dont know!! I know alot about each and every one of you...but dont be scared, I wont use my power for evil. I rEALLY @#$*&*&%#@ loved that BOH show. I was gonna throw my bra at you but Muffi scared me. She told me the polkaslut initiation ritual and I felt that perhaps I should get those special implants (you know!!) What do you think? love candii (Yes thats swedish--my last name is Dish.) Impie looking@IronChef Sat Apr 4 10:48:12 PST 1998 Candii, everyone in Polkacide is also wracked with a crippling shyness. We all over compensate for our percieved lack of self esteem by getting drunk and acting the fool in public. Come and be one with us and through ritual public humiliation you shall set yourself free from the meaningless, self-denying constraints of post-modern coporate bourgoise false morality. In other words, next time throw the bra!! As far as getting the implants is concerned, the only one in the band who really cares about that aspect of your initiation is Alister, so save him for last and then you'll know if you want to take it that far. Ned Zooblowski nedz@reptiles.org Thu Apr 9 20:37:07 PDT 1998 Sure been quiet here at the Polkacide fanmail site the last couple of days. Must be because you all owe so damn much tax. Hell, you can't even piss and moan without being taxed for it these days. I say SCREW IT! Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Let's have some fun and write the great american cynical diatribe about taxation without any representation right here on the whirled wide web. Yippy! PolkaMomma sharonk@heald.edu Sun Apr 12 14:26:10 PDT 1998 Well, it's a quiet Easter Sunday here at the Basa residence. Mr. Basa is busy tinting the Easter beer and hiding it around the household for me to find. Sorry we've been remiss in updating the public on P-cide news - we've been busy dodging those burro-runners (it's a long story) and ekeing out a living after taxes. Did take in Elvister's new play - it was much funnier than the St. Stupid's presentation but Ali says he's going to pull it and work on it some more - he'll present it again at the end of summer so don't miss "Figshta Diaries". There's a rumour that Impy returned to Vegas and promptly got thrown back into jail. Neuguyski, however, has connections so we're not worried....see you all Cinco de Mayo. Love, PM Nieuwguyski Nieuwguyski@witzend.com Mon Apr 13 11:21:36 PDT 1998 Geez - I guess Larry "The Lion" Knopp has never forgiven me for quitting with no notice. When I walked into his stereo store, "Lion 'Lectronics," I expected a warm welcome. I mean, who spoon-fed him his decaf when he was trying to kick his nasty caffeine habit? But no, he had two goons give me the bum's rush out the back door. I tried the head-butt move Neil taught me, but it just isn't as effective without spikes. Then they stacked dead TV chassis on top of the dumpster, so I had to wait for the morning trash pickup - and hang by my fingertips over the grinding stuff in the garbage truck. Fortunately I had a backup plan. It's complicated, but I hocked Johnny's polka albums for Impie's bail, started a rumor that the albums were actually mint copies of every album Sinatra recorded for Capitol, waited for Larry the Lion's goons to knock off the pawn shop, and sure enough, the albums were in Larry's dumpster the next morning. The only problem is, Impy has Johnny's records now and swears he'll sell them if Johnny doesn't pay him back! -Nieuwguyski GOD Everywhere.com Wed Apr 15 18:46:50 PDT 1998 Nieuwguyski, what the HELL are you babbleing about? GOD Everywhere.com Wed Apr 15 18:47:35 PDT 1998 Nieuwguyski, what the HELL are you babbleing about? Nietzsche Freddy@Purgatory.org Thu Apr 16 09:53:28 PDT 1998 Leave young Johnny alone, you big bully! He has brain damage from puffing on his trumpet. And where do you get off accusing him of "babbleing," when you're repeating yourself? NotImportant notme@nothere Mon Apr 20 16:42:26 PDT 1998 The records are in the mail and all the damages will be paid for in full. I personaly have not seen Impor for a few weeks now and I think he may have left the country for a mandatory cooling off period.....maybe he went to Alaska....or Glacier Natl Park. That's probabaly it! Suffice it to say he is laying low until this whole sorry, sordid business blows over. Those of you who know Impie as I do, realize that he is incapable of comitting the despicable acts he has been so wrongly accused of!! Sylvester CatAboutTheHouse@home Wed Apr 22 19:36:33 PDT 1998 Thath'sss despt-h-h-h-ical!!! Candii SweetLipsAWaitin' Wed Apr 22 19:41:58 PDT 1998 Oh yes he could! And boy do I want more... PolkaMomma SweetMomma2U Wed Apr 22 19:57:25 PDT 1998 Neuwguyski, that's the last time I send a boy to do a man's job. Although the dumpster bit was very clever, not anticipating Impy's occasional walk on the wild side WAS completely remiss!! And knowing Johnny Jack, he's not one to sit idly by and wait for that old line "it's in the mail"...no fool, he. If I were you, I'd go see your friend, Larry the Lion and lay low for awhile. But be careful, something's not right in PolkaLand. Not only is Impy not to be seen, I haven't seen Ward-O, Maggie May or Maynot, OR Aleister in quite a while...Do you think something's going on? HEY, GARY! Any word from MM lately? PM PolkaAlertPolkaAlert!!!!! Thu Apr 23 22:58:12 PDT 1998 ...J.X is missing...repeat...J "Chad" X is missing... Candii Dish buttermint@sweettart Fri Apr 24 10:56:33 PDT 1998 not really missing... Impor staring@mynavel Sun Apr 26 10:34:06 PDT 1998 Has anyone checked the Zen Center? The last time "Chad" turned up missing, he was found engrossed in a wall, staring for eight hours a day. He said he had to purge his mind of Chuck Mangione's music. Maybe the ubiquitous Kenny G theme from Titanic has had the same effect on his sometimes weak intellect. Then again maybe he finally ran off to join the flea circus like he's always been theatening to do! gw gwiumski@large Sun Apr 26 10:59:21 PDT 1998 Well, as you know, PolkaMomma, the Spring season can cause a surge in hormonal activity. This "surge" can manifest itself through all kinds of bizarre behavior. MM, I'm afraid, has fallen victim to a rare form of Spring fever (skipereiea polymorficus upintheairitis)-- she has developed an insatiable urge walk on stilts, dressed in her most skimpy Polka Queen outfit (with nothing on underneath!), while playing accordion in 13/16 time if front of a band of Bulgarian circus performers (but, she says "ALL SLAVS ARE WELCOME!"). I believe she can be found haunting some one of the parks in San Francisco at twilight, attempting to satiate this overwhelming compulsion. Although, I could be wrong. Impor comin@ya Thu Apr 30 11:36:16 PDT 1998 I saw JX. He seems to be OK, though he was tight lipped about where he had been (so what else is new!) He always was the taciturn member of Polkacide. I just hope that tatoo of the naked woman on his forehead isn't permannent. He says he'll be at the show Saturday in Beernut Creek, so if its faded a bit by then we'll know. candii mememe Thu Apr 30 15:48:37 PDT 1998 It better not be!! I a have soreness from my modeling that night at scuzzi's tatoo parlor in Reno. Mookie Mokieville Thu Apr 30 18:22:26 PDT 1998 Well, that's Impy, JX & possibly M&M heard from...who next? PolkaUpdateNews Polkaland Sun May 3 09:17:26 PDT 1998 All current members were seen at the Beernet Creek show, though rumor is they were seen barking the door for their own show. All Fanclub members are called to support their favorite band's efforts at the upcoming Sink of Mayonaise tour this Tuesday, May 5th @ Hotel Utah on Bryant. (Inside joke, heh, heh.) ShotgunTotin'PolkaMomma 'agunnin'foryou@everywhere Wed May 6 18:26:38 PDT 1998 I'm so mad I could spit purple beer! That two-timing B-man screwing around with that accordian-humping harlot!!! Now I know I don't have proof, but there WERE squeezebox marks on his underwear & the room reeks with kielbasa juice smells AND he's passed out on the sofa now, snoring from exhaustion...now what am I to believe? I see her slinking around in her tigerskin "dirndl", practicing her stilt walking...and I KNOW it was her going "o-w-w-w" on the Wiener Dog Polka on the tape. Yeah, yeah, she professes her love of that actor guy, and of course I've heard the rumors circulating about her and JX (something about a spangled sheath of gold lame?)...well, you get the drift...If there's any truth to these rumors, all I can say is, "Hold me back, Hayok. I'm going to go kick some polka-ass." johnny jack drunkagaindrunkagin@oops Thu May 7 10:39:31 PDT 1998 PolkaMomma, I found a (ahem) shoe with my drum sticks and ahh, well you drove this drunkard home Tuesday night and I uh wondered if maybe it was, ahem, yours ? All the other articles of clothing that I found I think I can account for. Please let me know so I can return it before J' finds out, thanks. Johanny Sebastion Jach gwiumskishewered drinking@brokenhearts.bar Thu May 7 23:14:21 PDT 1998 ARE YOU SAYING MY POLKA PET WAS STEALING YOUR KIEL-BASA. WELL... WATCH OUT, CUS THIS "ACTOR GUY" AIN'T NO PATSY CLINE. I'M ON MY WAY TO THE LAUNDRY BIN--RIGHT NOW! PM @nothere Fri May 8 19:48:46 PDT 1998 JSJ - S-h-h-h about that! Candii titzRus Fri May 8 19:52:01 PDT 1998 Is this something I can get in on? Ralph rswiyens@puc.com Fri May 8 19:56:03 PDT 1998 What kind of PORNO stuff do you guys do anyways? And where can I get that Maggie gal's #? (Never mind that Candii. I think she'd be disappointed with the size of my tongue.) PM 'aconsiderin'mynext@move Fri May 8 19:58:58 PDT 1998 Oh, yeah, JJ! JX said he needs his tassels back... Concerned Fan noones@home.com Sat May 9 20:56:51 PDT 1998 Polka Momma and everyone else, Don't you go branding a scarlet P on the poor accordionist's chest! She could never be like ...well.. like that. At least that's not what she told me the other night. And besides, even if her Polka skirts are too short, too tight and as thin as her moral fiber, she has a right to do her laundry where wants. southpark girl none at time Sat May 9 21:42:40 PDT 1998 who killed kenny ???????????????????????????????????????????? muffi nope Tue May 12 21:01:00 PDT 1998 Neilbasa and his lovely wife were spotted at elvisters ranch in mad,white-hot marital embrace. I think all this alluded to pcide in-breeding is just an attempt by imposters to bitterly slander one of the finest polkafied couples of the modern(post-Welkian)epoch.Either that or u guys really swing!!Either way Viva La Basa's!! Mookie Clarksville Tue May 12 21:14:13 PDT 1998 Does that mean Maggie isn't a slut????!!!? gw gwiumski@stillchecking.org Wed May 13 08:02:18 PDT 1998 Basa-schmasa! That plastic sausage flashing flute player had better not have been polkaing in my polka pit. I'm still checking into the allegations (aka -- RUMORS!!!), but so far have come up with nothing substantial. And remember all of you Jerry Springer fans, Maggie doesn't don her dog collar for just any old horn player--at least that's what she tells me. PM Hamtramack, NJ Thu May 14 19:20:07 PDT 1998 Muffi...you're such an innocent...I didn't make it to the Elvister Ranch...and you were with me...(you really must stop taking so much acid...) Love, Me ma hamtrack,nj Fri May 15 12:23:55 PDT 1998 pma-maybe that night we spent as thespians in hoboken with DP had me confused...it could have been a dream, but i swear i saw something...by the way could u please let candii in on all that action, she's STILL a virgin even after being pslut indocrinated and frankly i think i cant take her anymore shes strung higher than impys guitar.loveme (its not the acid its the lobotomy) PS VIva la Basa!!Viva la BAsa!! Impor staring@thesun Fri May 15 17:29:16 PDT 1998 That's high-slung guitar. As in the opposite of low-slung. Kellyly Haan Eoyore7@aol.com Sat May 16 08:22:54 PDT 1998 South Park rocks! P-Ma StrangersInTheNight Sun May 17 07:01:40 PDT 1998 Nieuwguyski - I heard Maggie May or Maynot was picked up by your old cohort Larry the Lion as punishment for those fake Sinatra records you sold him [moment of silence] and is having her held & tongue-lashed in some SOMA industrial site...She's having entirely too much fun, that slut...She has all those guys writing in professing her innocence...doesn't THAT tell you anything??!!? Anyway, since you started that whole thing because of Larry's love of Frank [moment of silence], then the LEAST you could do is go mess up her happiness. But BE CAREFUL...that woman really can give a tongue-lashing!..............and, once more, [moment of silence] he did it his way... PM @home Sun May 17 07:04:24 PDT 1998 Once more for Frank...a moment of silence. gw gwiumski@myWay.frank Sun May 17 11:40:58 PDT 1998 What guys??!?? LARA NY TAZ 22 Sun May 17 11:55:55 PDT 1998 I LOVE SOUTH PARK I WATCH EVERY EPISODE KENNY IS SO FUNNY CAN U PLEASE SEND ME A PICTURE THANK U Chef SouthPark Sun May 17 17:05:03 PDT 1998 u-m-m-m-m baby...I have your picture right here...o-o-o-ohhhh sarah curry www.mediarare.com/pfanmail.htm Sun May 17 17:34:02 PDT 1998 I think that South Park is the best show ever made it is funny and cool all at once I think that it is my favorite show. Every one should watch it. It should come on every night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ImporHisky getoff@mycloud Mon May 18 15:50:09 PDT 1998 South Park would be the best show ever except for one GLARING omission.....where's the POLKA MUSIC? Our old pal Les has done a great job on the theme song but WHERE"S THE POLKA??? Just my 2 cents worth...OK?? brian hvywanted1@aol.com Mon May 18 20:10:41 PDT 1998 U GUYS ROCK! PLAIN AND SIMPLE. gw gwiumski@killyourTV.org Tue May 19 07:53:18 PDT 1998 What the hell is "South Park?" And why would any reasonably sane human being want to spend every night in front of the tube watching it or anything else for that matter? Personally, I'd rather polka 'til I puke--every night!!!. Anyone seen Maggie? She went out to pick up some suasages last night and hasn't returned. Huh... wait a minute.... Nieuwguyski marquis@chateau.desade.com Wed May 20 11:52:21 PDT 1998 P-Ma - What a dilemma! I feel your pain (yes, I'm hung over too...), but how could I ruin a band-mate's bliss? Then I realized that any chance to tweak Larry was worth the risk to Maggie. I swapped Larry's latest case of french roast with decaf and stuck a copy of George Michael's "Faith" in the stereo-store muzak system (and then super-glued the CD-player door shut). I guarantee, in two days' time the atmosphere in Lion 'Lectronics is going to get really ugly. -Nieuwguyski Rocky rustudly@icon.com Fri May 22 23:16:30 PDT 1998 Are you guys MACHO or what? Where's the beef? I want a CD so I can get my babe all sweaty before we do it. Where can I order one? I saw you guys at a place called Slim's on halloween a while ago when I was in Frisco. Fuckin rocked! How long have you had a site? Kewl! I played trumpet when I was in fifth grade in Wisconsin. My teacher taught us the "Duck Dance." Took me a while, but I got my girlfriend to strip to it. I figure you all will have a version of it on you're recordings. Send me info. Rocky Princely Polka rules! PM here,there&everywhere Sat May 23 21:02:09 PDT 1998 I heard that Maggie was Cartman's mother... comp crackr@aol.com Mon May 25 12:41:15 PDT 1998 JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT YOUR SHOW IS AWESOME ADN YOU SHOULD HAVE A LOT MORE mR. hANKEY SHOWS PolkaMomma Alsolovethem@heart Tue May 26 19:26:30 PDT 1998 Hey Rocky! Wasn't that a rockin' show! I think you should start a movement to get them to Wisconsin! impor hisky worried@mind Wed May 27 11:22:28 PDT 1998 PM-we're doin' this wine auction and I wanted to know what's wine? Somebody said its kinda like beer, which is good, but I don't know....Somebody else said ya can get it at the ballpark now. I guess next game I'll have to try it. Any info on this mysterious stuff would be appreciated. By the way Maggie is Cartman's father, don't ask me to explain it, but its true. PM backfromMonterey Fri May 29 20:25:52 PDT 1998 but Cartman's mother IS his father...and as for wine, doesn't Alister do that? gw gwiumski@blahblah.blah Fri May 29 21:11:56 PDT 1998 Cartman schmartman fartman man, who cares? And I think Ali whinnies. PM @theAM Sat May 30 08:55:16 PDT 1998 No, J. Lieb whinnied and Neuwguyski WHINNIES and Ali floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee. I know Alister wines and dines, but I think YOU whine!!!!! (Just 'cuz your sleep-anywhere-I-can-take-off-my-bloomers missy ran off with Impy, don't you come complaining to me!!) Love, PM Neil Basa Beer@Hand Sat May 30 12:53:23 PDT 1998 No, P-mama, Neuwguyski TRIES to whinny... gw gwiumski@redsrecoveryroom.cuz Sat May 30 16:49:00 PDT 1998 OH YEAH! BOO HOO !%#&*! HOO!!! Impor somewhere@drift Sun May 31 15:02:50 PDT 1998 I ran off with Maggie?? Where are we? I can't seem to place myself......As for Ali, just leave him alone. Why ya wanna kick him while he's down? The poor guy has enough problems as it is. Must you always attack the weak and helpless? He tries as hard as he can considering his many obvious handicaps. I think its wrong to pick on someone who is so patheticaly unable to defend himself! You guys are sooo mean.............. Nieuwguyski chopless@the.end.com Mon Jun 1 12:21:23 PDT 1998 I don't get it - didn't you guys say you wanted a hoarse whinny? -Nieuwguyski Nieuwguyski chopless@the.end.com Mon Jun 1 12:21:52 PDT 1998 I don't get it - didn't you guys say you wanted a hoarse whinny? -Nieuwguyski Impor ayayayay@ouchibaba Mon Jun 1 20:56:25 PDT 1998 Oh no, been drinking again! gw gw@work.now Sun Jul 12 22:58:28 PDT 1998 Hey! This thing working again yet??? gwiumski still@large.com Wed Jul 15 20:09:09 PDT 1998 HEY!!! This thing is working again (the migration is over,man), so where's the yaddi yaddi? PolkaMom & the Mr. somewhere@netherlands Thu Jul 16 10:25:22 PDT 1998 While on our first vacation in a couple of years, Mr. Basa decided we should get in touch with the great outdoors & booked us a site at Castle Crags State Park. While huddled in our tent as a storm of lightening & thunder crashed overhead, we tried to keep from getting wet while maintaining a sense of humor. Upon awakening the next morning, I spied glass near the car door and upon investigation, found the door FOLDED IN HALF...literally, and quite neatly, I might add. We had been visited by a bear during the night & he found the one last beer left in our car. Now we are in hiding...he's got a taste of our delights and I'm sure he's going to come back for more!!! JJack NoNoNo@Chachacha Tue Jul 21 10:03:34 PDT 1998 Bear Left PolkaMom Pablo Carnales purosudor@buey.com Tue Jul 21 21:32:03 PDT 1998 Hola cabrones. Donde esta la fiesta? Es pinche verano, no saben? Quero Polka y cerveca bien fria y todas las putas de polka. Vamanos holgazanes. El tiempo ha llegado. P-Mom @home Sat Jul 25 08:05:57 PDT 1998 pretty good... Impor meetme@candlestick Thu Jul 30 11:32:35 PDT 1998 Hey! Who was that Polka Queen in the full page spread (pardon my double entendre) in the Bay Guardian?? How did our own Maggie get the fashion shot?? Was there a secret exchange of blood sausage? Me and Johanny and Ward and JX and my cuz, Niel Basa and Nieuwguyski went for the Bay Guardians weiners at Kezar....7:30 AM....no beer...and, it was winners, not weiners!!! What a rip!!?*#!??! Also, as an areligious guy, what is this church gig we've gotten roped into on the 16th??? Is there going to be kneeling and hymns and all that stuff? Alls I can say is, I can't wait for the 'Cordeen Fest in Cotati sos I can watch Reverend Ward go toe to toe with the security guards from the community college again!!!!! sam jamieson hjjryghh Fri Jul 31 16:08:29 PDT 1998 can I please have some pictures of south park JAMES TRUITT BLAZER380@PRODIGY.NET Sun Aug 2 10:25:35 PDT 1998
jake butman12@hotmail.com Mon Aug 3 00:43:11 PDT 1998 to south park you kick ass. so dose kenny,kylle,cartman and stan. from jake p.s.keep on kicking ass cyber-babe www.dudette.com Wed Aug 5 14:49:22 PDT 1998 I love the backstreet boys. I think Nick is totally hot. and stefan.w.,if you see this,E-mail me! ssuper dumby wwstreet72@hotmail.com Fri Aug 7 05:10:14 PDT 1998 tothe createeers of south park i jus wanted to say you guys rock man. you guys would havta be sick to put words like that in the mouth of third graders cool huh ssuper asshole wstreet72@hotmail.com Fri Aug 7 05:15:58 PDT 1998 ey dudes wasup.yeah its me again jus wanted to ask if you guys would send me brittanys vibrater from the movie baseketball. you guys can be pretty sick sometimes haha p.s keep kikin ass ImporHisky SouthPark@myass Sat Aug 8 10:54:24 PDT 1998 Me like South Park too!! It funny with fart noise and swearing children!!! Ha ha ha!! It make mommy and dady mad and face turn red!!! Pooty-pooty on you!! Ha ha ha!! Keep kick my ass...I like stupid, OK?? gw gw@work.now Tue Aug 11 17:37:36 PDT 1998 Hey polka weenies, this is the Polkacide fanmail site. What's with all the South Park crap. Haven't you little peckers learned to read? And besides, you shouldn't be polluting your young minds with that stupid show. Read a book, or better, drink a beer and grab a polka slut and swing her round and round. If you practised your music instead of wasting your time watching TV you might even be able to play polkas someday and get free beer and polka poontang. Come on kids wake up! Impor sick@heartferdakiddies Wed Aug 12 10:53:30 PDT 1998 Polka poontang.......isn't that what the Polish astronauts drank when they went to the sun? Pablo purosudor@buey.com Wed Aug 12 21:16:21 PDT 1998 Hey, pocos locos. Que honda, eh? Huele de chorizo en este sitio. Impor, la "poontang" no es un refresco, pues, si es una refresca, pero depende en como la/lo ve. Entiendes la deferencia? Para mi, "polka poontang" es muy buena especialmente directamente duespues de bailando en el polka pit. Ay ay ay ay! Puro sudor es mi nombre, no? Esperando el proximo gig... y las locuras...
Myles & Kevin pimpster@jewishmail.com Thu Aug 13 11:25:01 PDT 1998 You guys kick ass!!! Your wiener dog song is awesome! You should put more of your own songs on your site. You guys are the best Polka band I have ever seen! Keep up the good work. Your site rocks!!! Esperando el proximo gig... y las locuras... Impor flowers@mynetherpore Mon Aug 17 11:18:18 PDT 1998 Well....I hate to admit it, but after meeting Mr. Hankey and doing the duck dance at that wacky Whore Church, I must say he is a nice fellow. I do have a hard time with the smell and the staining though. If he shows up at the 'Cordeen fest it'll be outdoors and we'll just have to stay upwind. Doris plucky@transition.ing Tue Aug 18 17:43:55 PDT 1998 As the old saying goes, "Everyone has a lotus." Although, at times, that's really hard to believe. Poo poo pi doop.... ASS if tweedee8@hotmail.com Tue Aug 25 20:38:50 PDT 1998 hi enyone want to talk to a 18 year old female? ASS if artfunkymonkey@yahoo.com Tue Aug 25 20:47:08 PDT 1998 yo does mokieville want to chat with ASS if I'm 18? bob bigweenie@large.org Wed Aug 26 19:39:31 PDT 1998 No! I like older gals. Sorry ASS. Curlylocks curly101@msn.com Mon Aug 31 15:40:58 PDT 1998 If it hadn't been for Polkacide the Cotati Accordian Festival would have been a ho hum affair. Not so with Polkacide - bring it on and please let us know where you will appear on New Year's Eve. PolkaMomma Yes,I'mBack Thu Sep 3 21:15:52 PDT 1998 Sorry, Curly Locks, but it would be way too much to ask of the guys to plan THAT far ahead... Suffice it to say that you CAN catch them at either the Faultline (Walnut (Beernut) Creek) or Gordon Biersch (S.F.) Breweries (Hey Torre, bartending?) for their Oktoberfests. Sylivia Slatford wiseman98@yahoo.com Thu Sep 10 08:58:56 PDT 1998 I really love your music and would love to see you again in concert at the albert hall in london. gw gw@home.now Sat Sep 12 15:49:32 PDT 1998 I wonder if it was a Cuban cigar... Jack Leer@you Fri Sep 18 09:33:12 PDT 1998 Upcomming Shows JJack MeMeMe Fri Sep 18 11:35:30 PDT 1998 November 21, at the Bottom of the Hill with Big City Orchestra is now confirmed *** Beer there or Beer empty *** The little Polack abinski@ibm.net Sun Sep 20 14:19:41 PDT 1998 Happy Birthday to a one of a kind!............thank God. Pablo purosudorYamor Tue Sep 29 18:02:05 PDT 1998 ¿Donde esta el señor Basa? Esso es la pregunta. craig and any collins cacollins@sprintmail.com Sat Oct 3 17:32:31 PDT 1998 just came back from beernt creek...we're fans now! thanks for a great afternoon. see u on the 17th. sara saralcrain@earthlink.net Wed Oct 7 11:58:30 PDT 1998 Polkacide has been in my life since I went to middle school with Paul Marinko and knew Jennifer Marinko from a friend (1986) and their dad was in the band. Is he still there? PolkaMomma @homerightnow Sun Oct 11 11:13:29 PDT 1998 Yes!!!!! That's Mr. Basa and I'm Mrs. Basa. Hi Sara, we probably baked beer brownies for you. Peace, Piwo & Polka. tanya looking@theback Thu Oct 15 09:02:03 PDT 1998 You guys really kicked it at gordon beersch, your drummer was totaly money!!! is he new? single? mikey evanishyn kmetehp@axtek.com Mon Oct 19 13:21:16 PDT 1998 I am a Russnoch from Arizona, but my roots are back in coal country of Northeast Pennsylvania. I spent my formative years attending Russian and Polish weddings and other family outings where beer, vodka, pierogies and polka were the rule. I learned to polka before learning to walk. My Uncle Walter was a master of the accordian and played in local bands as well as regaling us children with an occasional tune. Anyway, I grew up and grew away from my fine beginnings. I bought a copy of your first album in '86. Drove all but my most stalwart friends out of the barracks when I played it. It saddens me that I cannot find your latest recordings here in the cultureless wasteland of metro Phoenix. I'm glad I found your website - I can order new sounds. Be happy and thanks!
Jane Henderson timner@ccnet.com Mon Oct 19 18:41:42 PDT 1998 We love you!! Come back to Walnut Creek anytime! Just a Joe Coworker@geocities.com Wed Oct 21 10:38:35 PDT 1998 TRUE TALES OF A FIRST POLKACIDE EXPERIENCE! So I'd been at this party that my company was hosting. It's in some kind of industrial/dance music club in SF and as our party ends they tell us everyone has got to get out for about an hour and then they'll open the club back up to the public. I'm not a big fan of this type of club but I've had lots of free drinks and I'm not from anywhere near California so me and a coworker decide we'll kill some time and then come back in this place. We head out into the night looking for some place to pass the time and have a few beers. It's after dark and it seems to be kind of an industrial area but there are lots of folks about and our collective beer buzz makes us strong. We had been walking about 15 minutes or so when it occurred to us that there didn't seem to be very many clubs around. In fact there didn't seem to be very many of anything that was open. Then we notice that the crowd had thinned out. Then it started to rain. Then we lost our buzz. Strangers in a strange land we figured we had better get back to the club we had left. They might not let us in yet but at least we would be somewhere there were lights on. We might even be able to get a cab. So we tried to retrace our steps. After walking for a while I suddenly caught the strains of some strange sound. We actually had one of these moments ... Me "Wait, stop, what's that?" Him "What?" Me "Do you hear that?" Him, pausing a second "What is it?" Me "I don't know. Come on." We hurried through the dark drizzle, off down some side street. The sound seemed to be music but stopped before we could identify it. We did find our selves in front of a beer hall. They even brewed thier own beer. Jackpot! We waded through the crowd to the bar and procured some liquid delight. I saw a sign that said "Polkacide" and I ask some guy what it was. (Had to yell actually, the place was loud) He said "They're on a brake." and pointed up some stairs. My coworker and I, armed with tall glasses of liquid courage looked at one another, shrugged, and went up to find a table. As we looked around the room we began to wonder what we had gotten ourselves into. There were skinheads, people in leiderhosen, punks, yuppies, and well ... basically as mismatched a collection of people as you could imagine. Frankly it looked like trouble. So we ordered another beer. Then POLKACIDE appeared and this is the point were I have trouble finding a discription. If you have seen this band live I don't need to explain them ... you know and can probably even vividly picture the scene yourself. If you haven't scene them ... well. Imagine this giant party. Imagine Polka meets Punk meets Dixieland meets Jazz Fusion meets some more Polka meets Rock meets David meets Goliath. People are drinking beer.People are singing. People are dancing. People are drinking more beer. Up is down, left is right, gravity goes out for smokes. And that is just the band! The crowd seemed to spontaniously combust. As eclectic a crowd as I had ever seen, they all got along peacfully (well as peacefully as a Polka Mosh Pit gets) and were doing all they could to keep from getting left behind. For our part we sat there (okay we were dancing in our seats)waiting for it to all abruptly stop and find ourselves standing in the rain in some dark alley ... it all having been some wild hallucination prompted by something that had been slipped into the food at the previous party. But no. This surreal party just went on and on. POLKACIDE seemed to be having their own party and although the rest of us were invited to join in ... I don't think our being there or not had any real effect on their "Throwing down". In fact I believe that the building could have been evacuated and POLKACIDE would not even have noticed much less slowed down!!! So that's my tale. I am fortunate that I had a witness with me or I would seriously doubt that this had ever occurred. I mean no one else believed us when we told them about this band. "A punk, polka band? Sure." That was 2 summers ago and the strains of "In heaven there is no beer ..." still echo through my head. Then a ray of hope! I found this web site. And now that I have confessed perhaps I can put the tattered remains of my life back together... or at least order some tapes so that I can expose as many people as possible to POLKACIDE before the United Nation wises up and passes some sort of resolution agianst POLKACIDE and threatens wiener dog sanctions against those of us who now know the truth. Just a Joe Patiently (hehe)waiting your Southern US tour! BEER NOW Perrin perrinsteward@aol.com Fri Oct 23 04:49:16 PDT 1998 send me some mail Morgenmuffel mirecourt@hotmail.com Wed Oct 28 09:31:41 PST 1998 Mutti ist die beste! G.Kiefer unplugged Tue Nov 3 11:07:11 PST 1998 Neil Kaitner sold me two shirts over the web-site. Only problem is after two months I haven't received shit. This even after talking to him on the phone. He assured me my shirts were on the way. Well Neil what happened, fall into you stein? Send me my fucking money back you dickless turd. G.Kiefer p.o.box 244 Sixes, Oregon. 97476. More negative drivel to follow if no response within one week. Yours disgruntingly Mr.Pissedoff. gw gw@thehelm.now Wed Nov 4 18:13:52 PST 1998 Mr. Pissedoff, You'll get a reply real soon. Hey, your shirts will just last a little longer. But remember man, stress will kill you--sooner. Neil Basa WAAHWAAHWAAH@kiefer.com Wed Nov 4 21:14:59 PST 1998 My apologies to Mr. Pissed-Dork for the wait. After I spoke with him on the phone, (WHICH, by the way was the result of MY leaving a MESSAGE on his ANSWERING MACHINE, and waiting only about A MONTH for "swifty" to finally get around to CALLING ME BACK, just so I could ask the @#5&* pain in the ass fetid piece of walking excrement if he'll take an Extra large instead of a large since he's so on the BALL he's ordering THE WHITE, "BE'ER NOW" shirt a full year after IT"S GONE OUT OF PRINT and the thankless WHINER is LUCKY I had ANY of them in stock AT ALL, the big stupid, retarded BABY) I was rather slow to get around to mailing it out, but I assumed anybody who would wait so long to return a phone call could'nt be in MUCH of a hurry... go figure. muffi omenofdud@dork Fri Nov 13 11:53:24 PST 1998 hello I just returned from my six month stay at Napa State and I find that my beer of the month membership has expired and I want to know why? If you guys know so much about beer and monthly beer subscriptions, why did this happen? Im feeling mighty mad. I might just have to vent some anger here. If I dont get some answers here I may have to cuss a bit. Damn you stinking melon farmers. Somebody better do something! For reals, man rip snortin muffi BoB robertsclub@dorks.org Fri Nov 13 20:17:49 PST 1998 Perhaps you should snuggle back in to the straight jacket for a while muff. It's going to be a DRY and rocky road to 1999. The beer recession is in full tilt. I haven't had a drop in days. PolkaMom @here@there@everywhere@home Sat Nov 14 08:41:40 PST 1998 Say muff! Did you try Mr. Basa's cellar? Ever since Clinton announced we had to tighten our beer-belts thanks to Hurricane Mitch (it really was of biblical proportions), there's been a lot of noise and activity. Of course, I wouldn't venture down there myself... *kisses* David boo.booboo.com.att.net Fri Nov 20 15:58:38 PST 1998 pleas send me some picturs Johnny Jack porkn@thetable Tue Nov 24 08:48:40 PST 1998 I got me a HAM - ummmmm A devoted fan @John's table Tue Nov 24 14:35:36 PST 1998 Thanks Guys (and gal) for a great show at the Bottom of the Hill. You are truly amazing! And what great jazz licks. Impor gagging@thethought Wed Dec 2 14:40:29 PST 1998 Muffster-- So sorry, you probably could have used a cold one when you got out of the bin, but while we was house sitting me and cuz'n Neil drank all yer brewskis. We saved the bottles though and the kinda weird heiroglyphics on the wall is our critiques of the different brands. The numbers relate to how much we liked 'em but I can't remember if a 10 is good or bad..... Oh, by the way don't drink the liquid that is in some of the bottles, it's not flat beer. Glad yer out and please do what the Doc says and take yer meds daily! muffi gagmewith@nothamms Sat Dec 5 08:35:02 PST 1998 yo punk! you think just cuz Im well medicated that Im not still homicidal. You better think twice about leaving fluid around in my beer pyramid and not telling me for a few weeks. I might just have to come to your next show....and you know you dont want that again. Especially because the beer subscription people called me and said it didnt expire, it was cancelled because someone ordered 25 Internationals with extra non-alcoholic Spaten. Thats just wrong. Dont try my patients, dammit. You better check yoselves. angrymuffi jerry dweebs@twerps.org Tue Dec 8 18:05:48 PST 1998 anybody seen my keys. wait a second while i turn on the lights. impy amazed@myoafishness Wed Dec 9 14:00:40 PST 1998 Muffster....I love the way your beer gut wobbles when yer angry!! It reminds me of Gramma Jake! Santa saintnick@thepub Thu Dec 24 10:13:32 PST 1998 Ho ho ho... buurrrrp! One more for the road... and you better watch out... you better not cry... you better not pout... hell, let's POLKA!!!
ImporHisky stuffed@home Sun Dec 27 18:29:21 PST 1998 Hey! Can anybody help me out? The cranberry sauce got all over my cookbooks and the pages are stuck together so now I need a recipe for turkey jerky pronto!! Thanks in advance polka pals!!!! WackyJacky polkacide@mediarare.burp Wed Dec 30 12:45:36 PST 1998 Come on in - the BEER is fine More Adoring & Inflammatory Comments:  |
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